Homosexuality in the Philippines/en
|NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!|
|The article you are looking at may not be work safe!|
|If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.|
Evolution is evident in the Philippines. Charles Darwin would have been elated if he were alive today. A man is commonly called Filipino and a woman is called Filipina. The past few years have seen the emergence of a new race - the half-Filipino, half-Filipina - or in local language, the ''Bakla''. Scientists are baffled about how this new breed propagates, as there is no evidence that they ever get pregnant.
How to Detect a Gay Filipino that is Invisible to the Gaydar[baguhin]
When a Filipino residing in the Philippines is asked about musicals, chances are they would only mention Leah Salonga and her tribe of once-cast, once-exported Filipinos who are now back in the Philippines, unemployed yet still starry-eyed about their glory days of the past millennium.
However, mention beauty pageants and Filipinos open up, resulting in a heated competition, debate and debacle of knowledge of beauty pageant history and trivia. There will be no stopping the Filipinos when it comes to beauty pageants.
This is therefore the correct way of ascertaining if you are a married woman wondering if you are married to a bakla. Mention a phrase, "beauty pageant," followed by a seemingly ignorant or totally wrong comment, and see if your husband corrects you. Count the number of words or sentences your husband utters about the subject of beauty pageants, and if he surpasses 20 words, then you can be sure that your husband not only has the tendencies of a bakla, but is actually one. You will soon realize that your husband has something in common with the latest incarnation of SM Shoemart; both have well-maintained façades. At this point, look at him straight in the eye and ask him what his stage name is, what country he is representing this year, and what countries he represented over the recent 5 years. You can also mention "Sharon Cuneta". And if you have observed your husband fawn over Sharon Cuneta, you have just proven that your husband is totally bakla. Or if acting in a cutesy cutesy manner, he is a baklita. This is a totally understandable behavior for Filipino husbands, which parallels the behavior closeted American men have for Madonna.
It has been observed that some Filipino males glamorize their existence by speaking in a "burgis" manner. The ones from Manila would speak "Taglish," a mixture of Tagalog and English, and this has been matched by the Visayan "Ceblish," which is a mixture of Cebuano and English. Mix this with a winning discussion about love and adoration for Sharon Cuneta, and you will witness before you the unveiling of a closeted silahista or bakla. If this happens to be your husband, you might want to celebrate, having just proven a hunch you have been having for a while. Likewise, if you are a girl, in school, and you have a male classmate who seems to have mastered Taglish or Ceblish, keep him close to you, and realize that he is the one person who will make the most and the best of your school years. You can lose your virginity to him as his consolation prize, as your friend is in a state of curiosity which in later life will manifest towards homosexuality. Whether you get pregnant or not will not be an issue to this future-gay, as you will soon become a mere memory after graduation. Talaksan:Piolo and sam.jpg
Gay Naming Conventions[baguhin]
Gay Filipinos would tend to feminize their masculine names by simply adding "-a" as a suffix regardless of how masculine their names are. "Robert" therefore becomes "Roberta," even though few females are named as such. "Manuel" becomes "Manuela" and "Daniel" becomes "Daniela." Even closeted gays, called "silahista" (singular, or "silahistas," ("Englishized" plural)), use this accepted renaming practice, regardless of whether they are referring to friends or enemies or whether they are talking directly to the person or backbiting. It would seem that this practice of renaming themselves amongst their circle is probably the most common, if not the only, denominator between the closeted silahistas, who would try to butch up their act to the point of getting married to females, and the overtly effeminate "bakla" who swings his hips in an exaggerated manner.
Famous Names Used in Gay Beauty Pageants[baguhin]
Lucy Licius, Papa Chupa, Inday Jeschon, Hada Decious, Rufina Patis, Tina Moran, Gina Cole, Nadya Cole, Jaja Cole, Kiki Nakamura, Baby China, Pukitina Bayagbag, Cufradia Buencamino, Santa Santita, Gino Juice FSingo, Rei Piñoco, Chino Pacia, Phil Lattio, Paco Arespacochaga, Sam Milby and Piolo Pascual, The Fat Bastard , Girl Abunda is also fairly common, considering the obvious Spanish influence.
Closet Gays/Kung Gabi Bakla[baguhin]
Related article: Cock Block
Maraming Pilipino na kung gabi bakla [KGB for short]. Subalit, dahil sa kanilang kabobohan sila mismo ang nabibisto pag may nakaka-access ng mga ritrato nila online. [Gaya ng Cebu "Body Spray" scandal]. Merong ding dahil di kaya ng powers nila ang pressure, lumantad na sila in national television. Ganito ang nangyari kay former hunk idol turned diva Rustom Padilla [ay, BB Gandanghari nga pala!]. Karamihan sa kanila ay magaganda at mga modelo pa sa FHM Philippines.
Further Information: Bitch Tits
Ang isang bagong kababalaghan ngayon sa mga Pilipino ay transsekswalismo, na dinala sa Fil-Am community. Ang mga Pilipinong binabae ay makikita sa mga lugar na maraming Asyano, MySpace, o sa exotic services section ng Craigslist. Marami ring makikitang binabae sa London, karamihan alyas Jasmine, at bumibihag ng mga lasing na siraulo na hindi mang lang makahanap ng gelpren.